Americans lose around $1.14 billion to romance scams per year, according to FBI data. Falling for these swindles will not only cost you money. The emotional impact can also be quite harrowing and may affect your future romantic relationships. (Infidelity is bad enough. Being misled, tricked, and scammed in love can be a traumatic experience to recover from).
“Romance fraud is the most devastating fraud to be a victim of, bar none,” says Elisabeth Carter, associate professor of criminology at Kingston University London.
But what exactly is a romance scam, and how do fraudsters use them to dupe innocent people? Let’s find out.
Romance Fraud: Here’s How They Work
Imagine this: A friendly stranger leaves a comment on one of your posts, complimenting you on how you look. The next day, they pop up on your DMs with a flirty hi. Before long, you are having a full-blown conversation, which quickly progresses to a romantic relationship.
Then, one day, they reach out to you, asking for some money for a family emergency. You still haven’t met them, but feel as if you’ve known them forever. So, you don’t think twice about wiring some cash. However, as soon as that’s done, they ghost you. You have no way of contacting them or finding out what has happened.
This is how every romance scam unravels (apart from a few exceptions).
Scammers can lure you into a fake relationship on social media, dating apps, forums, and anywhere else where they could hide behind a screen.
What they are typically after is money. Often, they will be upfront about it, with an excuse like buying a ticket to come and see you or paying for an urgent surgery. Sometimes, they may resort to indirect methods, like suggesting an investment that provides lucrative returns or convincing you to share photos of a revealing nature and using them for extortion.
Fraudsters could also try to get hold of personal information (like your bank account details) critical for identity fraud, which, again, they could leverage for financial scams.
Common tricks romance scammers use to dupe their victims include:
- Fake profiles set up on social media, dating apps, and similar platforms. (These can be real accounts that are hacked or those created with stolen identities).
- Emotional manipulation (for example, using flattery) to build trust.
- Rapid romantic advances, such as professing love too early in the relationship.
- Avoiding in-person interactions by giving various excuses. A common one is being stationed abroad for military service.
- Being overly inquisitive about your personal information.
- Requesting revealing pictures or videos of yourself.
- Asking for money via untraceable methods, like wire transfers, gift cards, and cryptocurrency.
Ultimately, by falling for a romance scam, you don’t just risk facing financial losses and identity theft. Being deceived in love and tricked out of money can be a devastating emotional blow for anyone. Following such incidents, many victims struggle to trust people and form healthy relationships years into the future. The trauma can even lead to depression and suicidal thoughts for some.
So, How Can You Guard Against Romance Scams?
The truth is, anyone can get entangled in a love swindle, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, location, or education. Of course, certain people (like retirees) who live in isolation and are in need of emotional care and comfort can be extra vulnerable.
But in general, you can never predict when, where, and how you might become a target for a romance scam. So, it pays to remain vigilant and take the following measures.
Don’t Be Too Quick to Trust Anyone
You can never tell who you are dealing with in cyberspace. So, know the dangers of interacting with strangers, be suspicious, and watch out for unusual behavior. Inconsistent stories, excessive flattery, and a sense of secrecy are common red flags of romance fraud. Unlike a genuine suitor, a scammer may also profess love too soon, avoid meeting you face-to-face, and probe you to reveal personal information.
Dig a Little Deeper Into Their Lives
Don’t just rely on what your new love interest tells you. You must do your own research to get to know them better and verify what they say. For instance, if you meet them on social media or a dating app, go through their profile in detail. A lack of information and a short account history should instantly ring alarm bells. Doing an image search using their profile picture can also be helpful. If someone else’s name turns up with it, it’s possible your suitor is using a stolen identity.
Don’t Send Money or Share Personal Information
Never send money to anyone you meet on an online platform, no matter how charming or convincing they are.
Be also cautious about divulging personally identifiable data, like your SSN, bank account details, and account passwords. The same goes for information and content (like sensitive photos and videos) that could jeopardize your safety and reputation.
Take Precautions When Meeting In Person
If you finally agree to meet up, you must ensure your safety during and after the date. Pick a public place (such as a popular restaurant or cafe) that you are familiar with, and keep your loved ones informed about who you are meeting, when, and where. Also, never leave your food and drinks unattended, and avoid sharing a ride back home with your date.
Report Suspicious Activities
Most people hesitate to report love scams out of shame, embarrassment, and fear of being ridiculed. But by being silent, you are creating room for scammers to cast a wider net and dupe more innocent people in search of love. So, be sure to report romance swindles to law enforcement and the Federal Trade Commission.
Remember, Love Takes Time
Everyone loves to be in love. Nothing can beat that warm and fuzzy feeling of being in a romantic relationship. And scammers know this well. It’s why they bank on emotional manipulation to sweep their victims off their feet with unending flattery, attention, and affection.
If you become hasty to fall in love, it’s going to be extra hard to evade such schemes. So, keep in mind, love takes time. A healthy relationship requires open communication, mutual understanding, and trust. And it is nearly impossible to achieve any of that online or within a few days. Once you grasp this reality, it will become a lot easier to protect yourself from fake romances.
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